Thursday, April 7, 2011

My Haute Thoughts on Friendship

When it comes to friendship it should be a two-way street, but lately I’m finding most people don’t get it. Since I’ve taken on a more visible role as a journalist by starting a blog and entering into the fascinating world of social media, I seem to attract people who think that they can extract my contacts and resources without giving something back. I find these people to be opportunists and incapable of being a true friend. So when the truth reveals itself… I take notes. I have learned to love or like people from a distance and rid myself of anything that’s toxic. I wouldn’t say these people are bad, but they have misguided intentions and may not value and protect friendship the same way that I do. They see my network and start adding up the net worth to figure out how they can benefit from it with no return on investment. As a result, I chose not to spend my time with them. It’s not always easy to draw such hard lines but it’s necessary to maintain my sanity.

My tried and true friends tell me that I’m too trusting and extremely kind… I can’t help it—I’m a Pisces and we tend to wear our hearts on our sleeves. But we’re not pushovers! So when I start to notice your pattern, I course correct.

This is what you should know about me… I work smarter so I can play hard. I travel the world because it inspires me to be better than I am. I fiercely protect my friendships because they matter to me. I will never allow someone to use me and be ok with it. I create my own opportunities and help others when I can. I don’t focus on what you have because I’m too busy building my own empire.

It’s not easy to do what I do but it’s the price that I pay to follow my passion and encourage others to live their dreams. I wish everybody who has entered my life and had to go the best… I really do. I just can’t participate in your one-sided view of “friendship” because that doesn’t honor me. So live your life and know that you have taught me a lesson that is more valuable than you will ever know… and for that I’m grateful to have known you. But the expiration date on your friendship and loyalty has expired.

What's your view on friendship?


  1. Interesting post. As a friend I consider myself one willing to give my last to my friend IF I have it. Sometimes I may be the one giving more other times my friends may be the ones giving me more. When you are trying to transition into a new field you may need to lean on one who is already in that field to help you out and get you in the door and that may include passing on contacts and invites. Once that person is "in" as a true friend they should be willing to share any new contacts/evites that they have rec'vd as well like a two way street. I am all about helping and giving back but I don't want to be taken advantage of either. Some people forget that they had help getting to the "top" somebody had to put them in the game as well back in the day hard work just kept them there.

    It's a blessing to be a blessing!

  2. Friendship is indeed a two way street. Following the golden rule and being loyal and honest are the tried and true indicators of a real friendship. People will use you if you allow them to. I have learned to let few people in and wholly cultivate the great friendships that I do have. When it comes to friends I do believe its quality over quantity that matters.